Hey friend,
You’d think after nearly ten years of working with adults with ADHD, I’d have a big speech ready every October. But every year I sit down to write something and talk myself out of it. I want it to be the right thing, meaningful enough, complete enough, worthy of everything my clients have taught me. (Yes, I see the perfectionism. I’m working on it.)
So this year I’m just going to say what I actually believe.
So much of the advice out there wasn’t built for ADHD brains. Buy a planner. Make a schedule. Be consistent. And when it doesn’t stick, most people land on the same conclusion: the problem must be them.
I hear some version of “I’m just doing it wrong” from almost every new client. These are smart, creative, capable people. They know exactly what needs to happen. Clean the kitchen, answer the email, start the project. Knowing isn’t the issue. Doing it, consistently, is. And living in that gap year after year piles up a lot of shame.
That’s why I don’t start with “Why can’t you just do this?” I start with “What’s getting in the way?”
Then we try things. Maybe the system needs to live somewhere you can actually see it. Maybe it has too many steps. Maybe you need someone checking in. Maybe the routine was designed for the version of you who slept eight hours and had a great day, and it needs to work for the real you on a random Tuesday. Some experiments flop. That’s fine. A flop tells us something too.
What I’m really helping people build is trust in themselves. Trust that they can try something, notice what happens, and adjust, without deciding they’ve failed the minute it gets hard.
If you’ve ever started ten projects and finished two, lost an afternoon without knowing where it went, or waited until panic kicked in to finally get moving, you’re in good company. Everyone has days like that. With ADHD, it’s not the occasional day. It’s a pattern that shows up at work, at home, everywhere, and it gets in the way of the life you want.
If that sounds familiar, I want you to hear this:
You’re not doing life wrong. You probably just haven’t found the support that fits how your brain works. You don’t need to become a different person to get there.
That’s the work I love. Not handing you one more system to feel bad about, but figuring it out with you, cheering you on when it’s hard, and reminding you that one rough week doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made.
My books are open for new clients right now. If you’re ready to stop going it alone and figure out what actually works for you, I’d love to talk. You can book a free consult here.
And if this message hit home, or someone popped into your head while you were reading it, would you forward it to them? Sometimes hearing “you’re not doing it wrong” at the right moment makes all the difference.
